Peter stands from behind his desk, and as he is walking toward me my heartbeat starts to race. He takes my hand, and guides me to the couch in his office and sits me down. ‘I know that usually under these circumstances Anna, we have special games that we play. I know that part of you’ here he glances down at my lap ‘will be excited about what it means when I send you a note like I did today. And we will play that game my beautiful Anna, my dark queen. But first I have to tell you something about myself, and I need you to listen and then to talk to me about how you feel. If you still want to, after that we can play our games.’ Intuitively I started to squirm in my belly. I had a feeling I knew what might be coming. I have longed to speak with Peter about this ever since it happened and yet now that I feel he is going to confess to me, I feel like I don’t want to hear it. I want our lovemaking and I just want it all to go away. ‘Anna, I know that you have felt a distance between us. I. What held me back from flirting with her, when she started hitting on me, was that I knew more about her sex life, than any of the other men around campus, and more than what she thought I knew.Andrea, I knew, had a fairly high libido. She liked sex a lot. She was also fairly impulsive sexually, and had been involved in a couple of three-ways at a couple of parties, and also in a couple of zippless fucks. Not a real slut, but definitely not a virgin.Also the main reason I was skeptical about having anything to do with her was that she had a strong emotional dependency and attraction to alpha-male types. She had twice that I knew of, dumped steady boyfriends for other men that were stronger, more powerful and assertive types.For me, sex had always been an expression of emotion with and towards another person. Sex and relationships were not to be taken lightly.I did worry about Andrea's higher libido. For me, even though DIY handjobs were still a part of my sex life, I didn't know if I.
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